Building Strong Relationships: The Three Essential Elements and How to Maintain Them During Challenges

If you spend any time scrolling through TikTok, you’ve probably come across countless videos about how to recognize toxic relationships. While these clips can be eye-opening, they often paint relationships in black-and-white terms—either good or bad—which doesn’t capture the full reality. Relationships are far more nuanced and complex than just ‘healthy’ or ‘toxic’.

It’s true that some past relationships you’ve had might fall clearly into a positive or negative category. In situations where your partner is abusive or manipulative, it’s crucial to seek help and find ways to protect yourself. However, not every relationship can be neatly tucked into these two boxes. Many partnerships live somewhere in the gray area, fluctuating between different dynamics based on personal experiences and circumstances.

Even if your relationship started off strong and healthy, that doesn't mean the foundation guarantees it will stay that way forever. Changes happen: people grow, challenges arise, stresses accumulate, and sometimes old wounds or new traumas come to the surface. These shifts can affect your connection with your partner, leading a once-solid relationship to become strained or unhealthy.

That said, a relationship dipping into unhealthy territory isn’t automatically a lost cause. While you should prioritize your safety and well-being above all, it’s possible to steer things back on track with effort from both you and your partner, often with the guidance of a professional. Couples therapy or individual work can pave a path to greater understanding and healing, but it usually requires commitment and honest self-reflection from both sides.

Remember, there’s no flawless relationship, but you should always aim to create one that nourishes you emotionally and supports your growth, even if things are already going well. Building that kind of bond means focusing on the essential qualities that uphold a loving, respectful, and trusting connection.

Although every relationship looks unique based on who’s involved, there are three universal qualities you should strive to cultivate in your partnership: trust, open communication, and mutual respect. These form the backbone of a relationship that can withstand life’s ups and downs and continue to grow stronger over time.

Trust is the cornerstone—you need to feel safe with your partner, confident that they won’t keep harmful secrets or hurt you physically, emotionally, or mentally. This sense of security allows both of you to be vulnerable and authentic without fear. It’s about knowing your partner has your back and values your well-being as much as their own.

Respect goes hand in hand with trust. Every person’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions deserve to be heard and considered, even if you don’t always agree. A healthy relationship includes space for both partners to express themselves freely, approach each other’s differences with empathy, and show love through understanding and compromise.

Communication is the glue that holds trust and respect together. When you can talk openly, kindly, and clearly, you lay down consistent ‘deposits’ that build trust over time. This means following through on promises, listening without judgment, and being honest about your needs and feelings. It also means recognizing when you’re ‘withdrawing’ from trust by being defensive, critical, or shutting down your partner, and working to repair those moments.

Arguments and disagreements are inevitable, even in the healthiest relationships. The key difference lies in how you and your partner handle these moments. Mistakes will happen, and both of you might sometimes say or do things you regret—but what truly matters is your willingness to address conflicts constructively and grow from them.

One essential step is to set aside defensiveness during disagreements. When you immediately jump to protect your viewpoint, you miss a chance to really hear your partner’s feelings and validate their experience. By being open and listening without judgment, you foster a deeper connection and make it easier to find common ground.

When emotions run high, it’s helpful to pause before responding. Taking a breath allows you to assess if your reactions stem from the current situation or leftover feelings from past experiences. This self-awareness can prevent unintentional escalation and help keep the conversation focused on solving the problem together.

Forgiveness plays an important role, too, but it’s not about tolerating harmful behavior without limits. It’s about choosing which conflicts are worth addressing and letting go of smaller grievances to move forward. This balance helps prevent resentment and keeps the relationship’s foundation strong.

By approaching conflicts as opportunities to learn about each other and improve your partnership, you can transform challenges into moments of growth and trust-building.

No matter where you are in your relationship journey, relationships require ongoing effort, care, and intentional choices. To reinforce trust, communication, and respect, here are some practical steps you can take to nurture your bond:

1. Consider couples therapy, even if things feel pretty good. Bringing in a neutral professional can help you both explore recurring issues, improve communication, and build habits that support a lifelong connection. Sometimes outside perspective is exactly what’s needed to deepen your understanding.

2. Work on yourself individually. Your personal history, emotional triggers, and communication style all influence your relationship dynamics. Reflecting on these patterns—perhaps through your own therapy—can help you break unhelpful cycles, heal past wounds, and show up as a more present partner.

3. Keep communication open and patient, especially during disagreements. Avoid jumping to conclusions or responding harshly. Instead, practice listening actively, validating your partner’s feelings, and speaking calmly. Remember, it’s about collaborating, not winning.

4. Be willing to compromise and find balance. Your partner’s needs and feelings count just as much as yours. Healthy relationships aren’t about always getting your way but about making space for each other, finding shared solutions, and supporting one another’s happiness.

5. Recognize when it’s time to step away. Not every relationship can or should be saved, particularly when abuse or disrespect is involved. Prioritizing your safety and well-being is crucial. Sometimes ending a relationship is the healthiest choice that opens the door to a safer and more fulfilling future connection.